Wednesday, August 31, 2005

20

I went to Donica Laboratory this morning for my annual physical examination or APE. Yes, this one's for the ape in us. I drove as fast as I could coz I wanted to beat the 12NN break. You know how businesses work; everything stops by the stroke of 12.

The first thing I did was submit a urine sample. The nurse gave me a specimen bottle with a #20 mark on it. It’s a mini test tube. Remember chem lab classes? Yes, think of the smaller... no no the smallest version. My reaction was what the fuck? How do I get my pototoy fit into that??? I went to the washroom. Spent a few minutes thinking how to "catch" my wiwi. Hell, how do I piss on this shitty tube? At last I was able to but I ended up pissing my hand too. Fresh piss. Hot off the pototoy.

Next stop is ECG. The attendant asked me to cozy up in a bed stuck in the corner of the room. He got some really weird stuff and put them on my chest and ankles. If my medical proficiency is as good as my mom and sis, I think they’re called globular nodes. For a moment I thought of myself ensconced in a high-tech laboratory somewhere in Zimbabwe (the capital of which is Harare – no need for you to scratch your dandruff-infested hair) and this weird-looking attendant doing nasty stuff on me. I’m helpless coz after all I’m his hapless guinea pig. Do guinea pigs live in Papua New Guinea? OK, back to Reality Bites starring Winona Ryder and Ethan Hawke. Nice film. Nice music. I forgot the title but it goes like “ma ma my sharona” something to that effect.

Well dementia was slowly creeping into me. It’s terrible when that happens coz people think I’m AB but you know, it’s just natural, naturally E. Choose Myra or Squibb - but I prefer the one sold in Healthy Options, 400 IU please. I needed to get out of Donica as fast I could. Then.... there was a vision. Pero bago yun, may lumabas labas muna na mga usok sa paligid (background music by Enigma) Sino ka??? Ahhh stay away from me DONICA Sotto…. FCUK, I’m wet-dreaming again. That’s French Connection United Kingdom. Nice brand. U Rustan’s Makati. I can get you a 10% discount if you're interested.

10 Comments:

At Wednesday, August 31, 2005 3:20:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

US urges Guinea Bissau parties to accept election results
The United States urged all parties in the African state of Guinea Bissau to accept the results of the disputed July 24 presidential election won by former military ruler Joao Bernardo Vieira.
I'm lovin' it - programy

 
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At Wednesday, August 31, 2005 4:02:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

US urges Guinea Bissau parties to accept election results
The United States urged all parties in the African state of Guinea Bissau to accept the results of the disputed July 24 presidential election won by former military ruler Joao Bernardo Vieira.
This is a great blog with much good info.
My main interest is genealogy, and I have written a genealogy book which you can find along with many articles at my site. I believe it's the only genealogy book of its kind, dealing specifically with search for noble ancestors.

 
At Wednesday, August 31, 2005 4:24:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

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At Wednesday, August 31, 2005 5:43:00 PM, Blogger droz said...

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At Thursday, September 08, 2005 1:29:00 PM, Blogger Jen said...

Hey I'm interested! 10% off FCUK? :)

 
At Friday, September 09, 2005 4:47:00 PM, Blogger 321Fire said...

mas maganda yung lucky jeans na brand over FCUK.
pero check ko muna kung "x" item yung FCUK. yung discount card ko excluding "x" items. sa ibang brands na hawak ng Rustan's nasubukan ko na.

 
At Wednesday, September 14, 2005 1:31:00 PM, Blogger Jen said...

OK lang, kahit hindi kasama FCUK! Basta Rustan's U...Chocolate Clothing Co. ba kasama? How about their swimwear brands? Hehe...

 
At Friday, September 16, 2005 9:10:00 AM, Blogger 321Fire said...

I'm not sure. I'll ask around.

 

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